Hallelujah! We are all getting screwed.
That’s my take from a recent NPR poll. It found that most of us feel we are victims of discrimination. Hurrah! Equity at last. We are all being treated equally. Treated shabbily perhaps. But equally shabbily.
The poll found most Blacks in America feel that others discriminate against them. Most LBGTQ folks feel others discriminate against them. (Do you actually know what those letters stand for? Each of them? Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Transgender and Queer/Questioning.)
Most Latinos figure they get the dirty end of the discrimination stick. As do most Native Americans. Wait! Let’s hear it for the Asians. Most of them feel they are victims of discrimination.
Is there anyone left? Yes, yes. There is this species known as Whites. Well over half of them told pollsters they feel others discriminate against them.
This is what parity looks like. Let us rejoice! Bi-partisan bitching. We are all screwees. Did you ever think you would be called such?
The screwers or discriminators vary. Most blacks who feel discrimination blame individuals. Understandable. However a quarter of them reckon government policies discriminate against them.
Most white evangelicals pray they will no longer be prey. That is, they feel discriminated against. I suspect most Muslims in America might feel the same. A big majority of non-Muslims feel Muslims face discrimination.
A majority of women feel they are not treated equally with men. Discrimination.
When the smoke clears, or does not, smokers claim most people are against them.
Investors Business Daily ran an editorial about all this. It wondered whether short people feel discrimination. They maybe ought to. After all, tall guys get more of the big jobs. For every few inches of height they own, their chance of more pay goes up substantially.
When is the last time we saw a squat CEO? For most of us, it’s been a while. That is because fewer than 3 percent of CEOs are short. Danny DeVito, don’t apply. About 90 percent of our CEOs are taller than average. I suspect the same disparity exists for fat people.
If we lump the short folks and fat folks in with the other screwees we are flinging a tent over most of our population.
And I have yet to mention people who stutter. Or those who are deaf or blind. Or those with obvious physical deformities. Or those with bad breath. Not to mention those who scratch their backsides in public. (Well, until now I have never mentioned them.) Those who limp are at a disadvantage, I’m sure. When they seek leadership roles they are. Because we non-limpers want our leaders and heroes to be like, well, us.
Then there is discrimination based on names. Must be. Do you really believe we would ever elect Gingold Schmuck to the White House? Yet that name is hardly his or her fault. Try paddling your way through life with a name like that. You would be treated badly from your first day in nursery school. You would notice – and remember for all your schmucky years – your teachers’ smirks.
Loose your imagination on this: We elect a dwarf to be our president. Ain’t never gonna happen, is it? If it does it will be right after Elvis reveals he is living in Peoria. Maybe.
All of this should give us pause. In that pause we might consider how many people do, indeed, suffer discrimination. And we might consider a more comforting thought. We are all in this together. From NFL millionaires to the homeless.
E. Pluribus Unum Discriminatus. Or something like that. My Latin teacher is not only rolling over in her grave. (I really did have one.) She is hoping to resurrect for a day. And hoping she can track me down. And hoping our gun laws haven’t changed.
Talk about discrimination. Sorry. I meant discriminatus.
“No he didn’t!!!”
That’s her! My old Latin teacher, who is a victim of me calling her old. “He doesn’t mean discriminatus. He means inaequalitatem.”
Of course I do. Absolutus!
From Tom…as in Morgan.
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