The latest fad from politicians is to promise to wipe out all student debt. With your money. They wave their magic wand. You pay. That is what they propose.

Let us say you did not get a college degree. Instead, you went to work.

Or maybe you did get one. You avoided big debts by paying your own way. By working in college and after. Maybe you went to a low-cost school. Maybe you did rack up college debt. But you worked hard to pay it off.

Congratulations. You have qualified to pay off the loans of all the doofuses who racked up student debt they cannot pay.

Oh, Tom, you are too cruel. These are innocent babes. They were conned by colleges to take on these loans. We must weep for them. We must salve the wounds of these gullible, virginal victims.

Sorry, but they are doofuses. Nothing was hidden from them. They read the loan documents. They saw the numbers. If they did not read them, they are doofuses. If they reckoned they could pay off $80,000 in loans with a degree in Racial Sexist Poetry Studies they are doofuses.

Yes, I am exaggerating. To make a point. The point is that just because a student shows zero judgement does not mean the rest of us should pick up the tab.

Oh, but we should! So say candidates like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. (Warren wants to especially help students in Native American Ancestry Studies Fraud. Just kidding.)  These two, and others, want taxpayers to pay off the doofuses’ bills.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? Those who did not go to college must pay. Those who used their heads to avoid such debt – they must pay. Those who paid off their college debt – they must pay again. That is, they must pay for the doofuses’ indebtedness.

Those who shunned degrees in Trans-Gender Yachting. In favor of degrees that got them good-paying jobs. They must pay. Those who went to schools they could afford. They must pay. They must pay for those who insisted on attending prestigious schools at three times the cost.

Those who were smart and practical and sensible. They must now pay the bills of those who were not. Or so these politicians insist. In their attempts to buy votes.

(Campaigning is simple. Vote for me and I will get taxpayers to pay off your stupid loans.)

But Tom, sniff, sob, sniff. These young people cannot get ahead. They cannot get out from under these massive debts. They cannot get on with their precious lives.

Yes they can. They can get two or three jobs. They can cut expenses to the bone. They can go bankrupt and start over. Maybe such hardships will teach them a few lessons that will guide them into better decisions in their futures.

Suppose we did pay off all this debt that students racked up. Every student in the future would expect the same. The lines for degrees in Poodle Psychology and Botswananian Archeological Studies would extend ‘round every campus corner. Who would care how much these degrees cost?

And consider what lessons the doofus debtors will have learned. I can think of one: Stupidly borrow lots of money, don’t pay it back and you win a big prize.

All of this has inspired a few extra thoughts. One is that perhaps we taxpayers should pay off everybody’s debts. Everybody’s. From the $2000 bucks you owe on your car to the $100 you owe your pal. Why not? In the spirit of Warren and Sanders’ generosity. Let us pay off the mortgages. And the car loans. And student loans. All loans! This would be the ultimate in feel-good gestures.

And why not? Why should students have their stupid loans paid off and the rest of us have to sludge onward? Kumbaya. Pay off everybody’s loans.

Maybe that is too generous. Instead, then, how about we start a fund? Everybody who feels taxpayers should pay off student loans can kick into it. Call it The Doofus Fund. Or the Peter Pan Fund, for students who don’t want to grow up. The most generous among us can contribute to the fund. The student debtors among us can draw out the money.

Sounds sensible to me. As long as the taxpayers don’t have to pay.  And if you plan to contribute…the debts amount to $2 trillion or more. You might want to add another zero or two to your check.

From Tom…as in Morgan.

Find Tom on Facebook. You can write to Tom at tomasinmorgan@yahoo.com.